Hello and welcome. My name is Max - spinner of yarn, rider of bike, believer of Bigfoot.

I recently finished my first novel. It's a crime comedy that unfolds entirely inside a hotel during one rather unpleasantly muggy and violent Midwest afternoon.

I've also completed a new collection of short fiction filled with apocalypses, criminals, monsters, cannibals, and Texas. A release date remains pending on both of these works, but if you type your email address in below, you'll be the first to read them. If you don't type in your email address below, there's no telling what could happen.

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Now that you've averted disaster (for now), you can read Thirst, a story of mine about disaster that Chicago Public Radio recently published and recorded. In the opening line, the world ends. To find out what happens after, you can read/listen here

And if listening is your thing, I've got good news: I'm starting The MAD Fictioncast, a fiction-filled podcast where you'll hear stories very likely to give you sweaty palms and a quickened pulse. You'll burn calories just by listening.  

Then you can move on to McSweeney's.net and read about my very first, very exclusive writing class. 

And don't forget Dislocated, an episodic online graphic novel about a lonely grocery store clerk who wakes up to find that everyone in sight has seemingly died overnight. Also adding to his problems: parents that just don't understand, a broken heart, the insidious threat hunting him outside, and a jailbreak at the local zoo.

Speaking of animals, my favorites are Godzilla, Bigfoot, and the Giant Squid.

I was once a background actor on television and met P. Diddy on the set of C.S.I. Miami. I told him I loved his work in there. I lied.

My hometown was listed as one of Buzzfeed's 12 Bleakest Places on Earth.

And I once eloped with a woman I met on Twitter while traveling across the country. I was broke and homeless when we met, and still broke and homeless when we married. I've been working on a book about this, and maybe one day you'll get to read that too if you signed up.

The truth is out there.